BACKWARDS HAT CHRIS EVANS AND SUIT CHRIS EVANS ALL IN ONE VIDEO?! FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
The pacer is a test in gym class/PE that brings a shiver of despair down the spine of any unfortunate soul who has gone through it before. And it’s usually done at least once a year.
Students line up on one side of the gym, eyeing nervously the painted line before the opposite wall that will decide their fate. The teacher hits play on the stereo and a cheery woman’s voice echoes through the gymnasium. fuck that woman’s happy demeanor. She explains the rules as the kids wait anxiously. Get to the other line before the beep plays. Simple enough, right?
"Ready? Begin!" she calls, and the gut wrenching ‘beep!’ plays after.
The kids awkwardly half jog to the other line, with about 3 or 4 seconds before the next beep. Each time the horrendous noise plays they run back and forth to the lines. “Level one, complete” she says, as to pat you on the back for what little victory you’ve achieved.
Not bad, the kids think. But then comes level 2. level 3. With each interval the time between the beeps shorten, and you’re running as fast as you can to the other line. Your foot hits it, you pivot, the beep plays, youre running again. Your lungs burn, your throat is sore, your heart is on the verge of an attack. No rest. No mercy.
A girl is the first to crawl over to the instructor, defeated. Seeing one has fallen, other students begin to follow since “at least theyre not the first ones out”. Clutching their chests they bail out of the test. One girls crying. You can’t tell if the boy on the gym floor is alive or not. Three kids left for the water fountain and still havent made it back.
And then, the fallen sit there, watching the myths, the legends, the kids who have made it past 100 laps. 120. 150. When they finally collapse a cheer erupts from the students. Theyre heroes.
But the excitement only lasts for so long as the next round of nervous kids line up, who opted to go in the second wave and prolong their torture. The womans voice kicks back up. The beep plays. The cycle continues.
my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night
inspired by [x]
where is the lie
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
today on satan makes a blog post
public service announcement
Daily Show correspondent Michael Che tries to find a safe place to report from.
standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this fucking flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”
Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.
In Seattle, Washington, an aged and allegedly “haunted” coke machine has been in the same spot for over fifteen years, but despite its outward appearance the machine is fully functional. In fact, the machine has always worked. Some of the drinks it dispenses are normal Coke products, but some are products that are no longer on the market and don’t exist any more. Some of the buttons are labeled as a “mystery” and give a random product when pushed. The business closest to it, a locksmith, state that they have never witnessed anyone restocking the machine at any time, No one ever has, and the mystery of it has attracted tons of people to test out the machine for themselves. It’s also pretty interesting to note that the prices for the sodas have risen over time, recently being from 55 cents to 75. I guess ghost machines have to pay the bills somehow.
I just looked it up and this is apparently real, what the hell
if this is real i’m going who’s with me
Deff stopping by this during my next Seattle trip. :p
Reacting to Blue Ivy
Lorde looks like an alien who is desperately trying to replicate human emotion so her cover isn’t blown.
back in my day the reblog button was on the top. we had to scroll 15 miles through the snow, uphill both ways.